Today, I had my heart viciously ripped from me.

Maybe that is a horrible way to put it. Regardless, I feel as though a solid piece of concrete has deceptively taken captive of this void in my chest.

I saw her for the first time in almost a year tonight. In the midst of flashing lights and roaring melody, time froze for just a half second. Enough to see those eyes, that face, those hands, swaying so elegantly as they did when they were once shared with me. Those legs, conveyed in turquoise; my favorite color. The same color I spent so many hours crafting memories out of. I remember seeing the rings. The same rings I used to rub so softly in the same way I would rub her hands.

Then, everything was gone. That moment of bliss was torn from my chest. Every breath of air I thought I had was instantly taken from my lungs, wiping me clean, useless, scared, and more sensitive then I was just moments before.

How did I know this would happen?

Why did I turn around?

I’m fucked up. I’m not going to sleep tonight. I’m fighting every movement to stop myself from breaking down. I miss her. Things didn’t even end for a reason. They ended because they did. And neither of us deserved it. I would give everything for just another chance. She swept me away. I never expected to be stuck. Suspended from reality. I’m not okay with this. Goodnight.

Every passing moment is a chance to turn everything horrible around.